Are you Really In Chronic Pain?

Chronic pain is nothing to laugh about. Especially if you are a sufferer who gets little or no relief
through physical therapy, pain medications or surgery. Even low levels of chronic pain can wear a
person down physically, emotionally, and mentally. It can rob a person of their patience and
appreciation for sunsets and Chinese Writing Spiders, puppies, kittens, and little five-year old’s
wanting attention. Coming to grips with its reality can be a depressing experience. Being a sufferer
myself, I decided to take a comedic look at my painful plight; trying to focus on its funny side. So, I
compiled a list of things to let me know I truly was in chronic pain – in case I ever doubted myself.

Number Ten
You’re on a first name basis with your doctor and his nurse.

Number Nine
You can recite the side effects of most common painkillers by heart.

Number Eight
You have your physical therapist’s phone number on speed dial.

Number Seven
You’re such good friends with the MRI staff that you schedule your MRIs for the last appointment so
you guys can all go out for drinks afterwards.

Number Six
You’ve learned how to read an X-ray.

Number Five
You can hear your teenagers arguing in the next room and then one of them says, “Shhhh keep it
down, Mom’s having an 8 day.” (Referring to the Pain Scale).

Number Four
Speaking of the Pain Scale, you’ve actually slapped a nurse for asking, “Describe your pain on a
scale from 1 – 10.”

Number Three
The pharmacist calls you for questions about muscle relaxers and pain meds.

Number Two
You’ve thrown rocks at the bedroom window of your on-call physician because he insinuated your
pain was all in your head.

And the number one reason you know you’re in chronic pain…
You’ve enrolled in online telekinesis classes.

You are going to be in chronic pain no matter what you do. You might as well laugh a little along
the way.